Stress and Finding Serenity

Alas, faithful reader, it is days like these that can at times make writing a challenge. Stress, in any magnitude and of any variety can lead to a lack of concentration and ultimately, writer’s block. Now I won’t go into any details about what is causing the stress that I am currently experiencing, but it is a set of circumstances that are beyond my control. I’m sure that most of you have experienced stress of some sort during your life. It can be crippling to the mind.

When stress is caused as the result of your own actions, it is easy to deal with. Deal with the actions, deal with the stress. When stress is due to circumstances beyond your control, however, it is a little more difficult to manage. About all you can do really is do the best that you can. You can practice stress-relieving techniques — if you are spiritual, you can pray or meditate; find a quiet place, perhaps a park, and get away from everything for a brief time for reflection; use writing as a vent for your frustrations and emotions; talk to someone about your stress to see if they have any ideas on how to deal with it or if nothing else, simply listen to you; don’t worry about it and realize that since it is because of circumstances beyond your control, there really isn’t anything you can do about it anyway, even if you wanted to.

There is a prayer that I have always loved. If you aren’t a religious or spiritual person, it can still be relevant. It is called “The Serenity Prayer”. If you are dealing with any stress or difficulties in life, I would encourage you to read this (or pray it) and take comfort. Things will get better, faithful reader. It just takes time.

The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
Keep your chin up. I will try to do the same.

Cheers!
~ Peter West

Make Your Time Count

This morning I awoke with an overwhelming sense of sadness. On the way to work, “You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban came on the radio. It always makes me think of my grandfather. He was always my rock in life. Whenever I had any problems, I could go to him. It didn’t matter what the problem was, he was always there to give me a hug and words of encouragement. He was unwavering in his love and support. He always believed in me and in the man I would become, even when I couldn’t see it myself. He was my light in the darkness and it was he that first introduced me to the love of Jesus Christ. Without him, I think I might have been a lost soul. I wasn’t the only person whose life he touched. Whether you were family or a complete stranger, it didn’t matter to him. He treated everyone the same — with love and respect. If you ever needed him, he was there. He would have given you the shirt off his back if you were in need. Though he passed away in 1995, it still feels like it was just yesterday and I miss him just as much, if not more than I did even then. I was so blessed to have such a wonderful person and role model in my life.

When I look back over the course of my life, I see certain people that were there just when I needed them. Many of those people were teachers, some were pastors, others just friends or acquaintances. They were almost like mile markers in my life. The one thing they all shared was that they were all there when I needed them the most and they all believed in me and that I was meant to make a difference in this world. I often struggle, as many people do, with who I am and what I am supposed to be doing. With age comes wisdom and I have learned over the course of my life that true answers to life’s greatest questions come from two places — through prayer and by self-reflection. I think that the two are closely related, because I believe that God speaks to our hearts. Only by looking deep within ourselves and listening can we hear and understand our purpose and path for our life.

The greatest stressor in life is the struggle with self, especially when you know what you are meant to do and you are doing something else. I was born to be a writer. I know that to my very core. I was given the gifts that I was given so that I can make a positive change in the world through my written words. Yet society would tell me that I need a full-time job that pays the bills. I have a family — a wife, three daughters (two at home and one that lives with my ex-wife), and three cats. They need to be supported, so I work. I still spend much of my free time writing or thinking about my writing. Until the day I can be successful and have several books that are paying royalties, that is what I must do. I need to write just as much as the air I breathe. One refreshes my body while the other replenishes my soul.

Back to my overwhelming feeling of sadness. I got to work this morning and checked Facebook briefly and learned that a dear friend of mine lost her father unexpectedly during the night. I am convinced that this was the reason I awoke with the emotion that I did. Some people are lucky and get to have their loved ones around for most of their adult lives. Others, such as myself, lose loved ones far too early in life. None of my grandparents are living. My father passed away a couple of years ago. Outside of my own family (my wife and children), I have my mother, sister, brother, an uncle and an aunt still living. Yes, there is extended family (lots of cousins), but as far as immediate family mine is very small now. I have also lost a lot of friends over the years. Every death has been difficult. I know they are all in a better place, but that knowledge can only give so much comfort.

I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that no one ever knows when their time will be up. In the blink of an eye, a matter of moments, a loved one could be gone. Sometimes there is warning, often there is not. That’s why I would like to encourage everyone to make your time count. Don’t hold anything back because there might not be another chance. Cherish the ones that you love and tell them so. Make sure everyone you care about knows that you love them and that they matter to you. I think much of the reason why it is still so difficult for me with losing my grandfather is that I never got to say goodbye and to tell him that I love him. I know he knew that, but there is power in words and it is still important to tell people that you care. Maybe it is more for your own benefit than theirs to remind you of what that person means to you, but it is important nonetheless. Don’t let that happen to you — spend time with your family, friends, and everyone else that you love and let them know that you care and that they mean something to you. Life is a fragile thing and it can be taken at any moment without any warning, so just do whatever you can to make the most out of the time you are given and the time that you have with those that you care about. That way you won’t have any regrets.

Cheers!
~ Peter West